Four No Mores

So November is here and the end of the year is in sight, but why wait for January to make the changes you want to see in your life? I’ve been trying really hard recently to drop out some of the things that don’t make me feel like my best self, so this is a real short post to share them with you! In doing so I’m hopefully achieving two things: one – holding myself accountable, and two – giving anyone else who might need it that little kick to switch things up! But failing that I’ll at least have kept myself entertained on a Friday night …

So without further ado, join me in waving goodbye to these nuisances:

Forcing It. OK, confession, another reason why I’m writing this is because I’m fighting against every part of myself right now to chase a certain something that I really want to happen, and really want to know the result of, even though I literally can’t do anything else about it right now. I’m learning, with much discomfort, that what’s for me is for me, and whilst I have to do the ground work in the first place, no amount of emails and checking my phone can control it’s outcome. Writing a blog really does serve well as a distraction technique though …

Pity Parties. This is a real good one to leave behind. No one likes to admit that they allow themselves to play the victim, but to some extent we probably all have those “Why me?/This is so unfair/I don’t deserve this” thoughts at some point, and probably a little too often. So here’s the thing: Bad things happen. Often out of our control and often they’re painful and awful and yes, even unfair. But the self pity really only means that these things hold power over us for longer than necessary, and that we even start failing to see the things we’ve been blessed with. Here’s the other, more bitter pill to swallow – there are some of those bad things (not all by any means, but definitely some) that YOU/I/we hold at least some of the accountability for. Things do not always simply happen to us, we call them in. We make mistakes. And they result in us getting hurt and feeling sorry for ourselves. If we don't take on the responsibility for ourselves though, figure out the learning and move on from them, then we might as well just give up and lie on the sofa feeling sorry for ourselves for the rest of our lives. Not me thanks.

Disliking Myself. This one is big, and can be broken down in to many many complicated and deep rooted issues. But at the heart of it all is this: life is too short and too precious to not be totally in love with the person you are. Self hate, low self confidence, body image issues, trust issues, dependency issues etc. etc. all seemed part and parcel of being a teenage girl, which then all somehow became being a part of being a young woman. No one told me when it was time to leave those things behind. But honestly – do I like those traits? Do I want those things to be characteristics that I’m defined by? Again, NO THANK YOU. I picked out some new ones recently; “confident, brave, independent, valuable …” (I won’t list them all but you get the idea) and I’m trying to treat myself in a way that reflects those characteristics rather than the old ones. At the root of it all – aiming to get to a place where I genuinely believe it when I say “I LOVE WHO I AM.” And frankly you can’t damn well be an inspiration to others if you don’t like who you are can you?

Putting things off. I realised recently that there were a few things that I was feeling called to, but was putting to the back of my mind because they were going to be time consuming and maybe a bit uncomfortable for a while, not to mention probably take years to get to a place that I wanted them to. But what sense does that make?? How could I not do something because it’s going to be a long process? The time is going to pass anyway and it’s not like I’m in the twilight of my life! So whatever that thing is that you’re thinking of for yourself whilst reading this .. go! Go do it. It’s scary and fun and exciting. It’s never too late to start a new adventure, whatever month of the year of year of your life.

So there you have it. My big four that are no more. There’ll be bumps no doubt, but if there’s one commitment I’m determined to stick to, it’s the commitment to bettering myself. Happy Friday everyone.

CD x